Sunday, February 16, 2014

My Interactions Stunt Laid Out

STUNT:

Nicole Orr

-I commit to writing for 30 minutes every day
-My stunt is focused on becoming more comfortable with interactions
-I will consider this aspect from 3 different perspectives, one each week for three weeks

Week One: Awareness.
In this week, I will:
Reach out to people from my childhood, my workplace, my family and my travels and I will ask them how they saw me. Did they notice me avoiding interactions?
Start a blog/diary on why I think I am this way.

Week Two: Action
In this week, I will:
Make a minimum of three invitations to do something social
Engage in at least two conversations with total strangers
Have at least one long phone conversation with someone that's not family
Get in touch with somebody from my childhood
Make a list of expectations on how I think these interactions will go

Week Three: Analysis
In this week, I will:
Analyze how expectations for interactions panned out
Answer the question: why am I this way?

Plan of Attack:
I am a very friendly person. I can make people laugh. I can maintain long conversations. I do very well in job interviews and I pride myself on my eloquence. All of this, however, is in appearance only. I've got a fantastic poker face. Inwardly, I am always fighting to control my environment. I can think of nothing more intimidating than an hour long car ride with someone I barely know. Not more than a few words in with somebody and I'm already planning my exit. I get so wrapped up in how a conversation might fall flat; a hug might go too long, an invitation overstayed, a gift unappreciated, friendliness unwanted or a compliment taken wrongly, that I prefer to just bow out entirely. I want to get out of it quickly, all of it, in a well controlled manner. The shorter the interaction, the less likely it'll turn awkward. The more the interaction is under my control; the easier it'll be to escape it. My stunt is to become more aware of my doing this, to lessen my avoidance of interactions and hopefully, to feel safe enough in said interactions to not even look for an escape at all.

Removal: I will not bring family members along to interactions to make them easier. 
Consequences: No Almost Human episodes
Places: I will watch my avoidance of interactions aboard public transit, in the workplace and with friends
People: I will ask family to point out when they notice me avoiding meeting people
Things: I will use my computer to keep an online record of my experiences and will interact with the Stunt Writing forums
Research: I will research social anxiety, introversion vs. extroversion,
Data: I will keep hard copies of everything I learn, including the thoughts others give me
Change: I will recognize my own excuses and ignore them
Practice:  Instead of waiting for people to ask me questions, I will talk about myself anyway and NOT finish my sentences with a question.

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